4 Ways to Love Yourself in the Midst of a Divorce

A divorce is painful, bringing feelings of confusion, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. You will go through a grieving process because divorce is about loss. It is the loss of a marriage, the loss of the dreams you had for your life, and the loss of being a couple. Although it might be tempting to shut yourself off from others following the end of a relationship, this is a wonderful opportunity to treat yourself well. A breakup can be an amazing time for growth and self-discovery in a whole new way. Here are 4 powerful ways to begin that process:

1) Sleep: I cannot stress enough the need for good, solid sleep. Lack of sleep, even under normal circumstances, can result in difficulty making decisions as well as processing emotions. It is mandatory that you get restful sleep after a breakup. Let your mind and body repair itself so that you are better able to handle your emotions and decisions. If you are having trouble sleeping, try a long hot bath, meditation, or consider taking magnesium before bedtime.

2) Eat healthy and eat often: Although it is tempting to overeat and binge on junk food following the end of a relationship, it is very unhelpful. You are already on an emotional roller coaster. Feeding your body proper nutrition can make all the difference. Keeping your blood sugar levels stable will go a long way to minimize the emotional ups and downs. If you are struggling to eat at all, try taking small bites of something every few hours. It does not need to be a lot. A few almonds and a slice of an orange can go a long way in helping you feel stable. If you just are not able to stomach food at all, consider smoothies or protein drinks, which are easier to digest. Remember to drink a lot of water to keep hydrated.

3) Positive Self Talk: It is tempting during this challenging time to have a lot of negative self-talk. Statements like “why me” or “I should have done things differently” are common to think about. It is normal to do this at times, but the trick is to not stay there. Give yourself the few moments of negative thoughts, but remember these thoughts will not assist you in moving forward in the grieving process. In fact, they will add to feelings of powerlessness you may already be experiencing. Empower yourself by asking questions that move you forward, for example, “What am I learning from this experience?” It will not be easy at first. With persistence, you will notice a shift happening, making the transition much easier.

4) Release emotions: One of the most difficult parts in the process is letting go. You must let go of the hurt, pain, and negative emotions you are experiencing. It is common to want to hold onto them to remind you of what you are going through, a way of justifying why you feel so bad. But here’s the thing, if you want to make it to the other side and experience peace, contentment, and joy, releasing those emotions needs to happen. Failing to do so will keep all that grief bottled up inside you, growing like a cancer. Grief is meant to be temporary and is no place to reside.

Divorce is painful but this is a time for you. It is a time to learn more about yourself as you discover who you are in this new role. By making sure to get plenty of sleep, eating healthy, shifting into positive self-talk, and releasing your emotions, it will help you move through your journey. While loving yourself will not make your heartache and pain end immediately, it will go a long way in making the grieving process smoother and easier. You are worth it.

If you are struggling through a divorce and do not know where to begin, consider coaching with me. I can help you find your way back to who you once were [click here].


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