“Try not to be nervous” and other bad advice

Have you ever been nervous about an upcoming presentation at work? What about confronting a difficult family member or friend? We’ve all been there. You might feel the pressure in your chest, the butterflies in your stomach, or the tightness in your throat. What advice do others give? “Try not to be nervous” As if you have control over it. Don’t get me wrong. They are trying to help and mean well but telling you not to be nervous is like telling … Continue reading

Number ONE killer of dreams . . . not what you think

Do you have dreams? What’s on your bucket list? Do you even have a bucket list? (if not, we really need to talk!) I know you have dreams. They might be buried deep down but they are there. The problem is, you go through life thinking these dreams will finally happen yet, somehow, you are another year older and in the same place. Nothing has changed, except maybe your dreams. You start to wonder, maybe it will never happen. Or worse, you keep holding onto it, believing it … Continue reading

Five Things Successful People Understand

We all have a dream for our lives, whether we want to get emotionally or physically healthier, build a stronger marriage, increase confidence, become a better parent, or embark on a career venture. No matter how different our individual dreams, each of us has some wish we hope to achieve in life. For many, those dreams are made a reality but for others, it seems we consistently fall short. The sad fact is, most of us will not push through … Continue reading

How Much More Will You Take?

Change is so hard. I know, I’ve been there. But I guarantee that avoiding change is much harder! You see, staying in a bad situation takes more energy than facing change. Avoiding it is like trying to give birth but you never finally reach the point of receiving that beautiful new life you worked so hard to create. Instead, you are in a state of perpetual labor pain. Never given birth? Here’s another example. Imagine trying to pass a kidney stone but … Continue reading

Relationship Barriers and How to Overcome Them

Amazing things are happening in the world. We have wonderful research helping to understand ourselves and the world around us and we are learning more than ever before. Despite how much we have learned, however, there is one thing that we still struggle to master ~ relationships. As we attempt to work through conflicts, the potential for hurt and tension is very real and can sometimes be devastating. After all, it has created wars between couples, families and even countries. … Continue reading

Are You an Overthinker?

One of the most common things people say to me is “I tend to overthink things.”  So I thought about that (recovering overthinker here).  According to dictionary.com, to “overthink” means to spend more time thinking about something than is necessary or productive.  In a world where we have access to an enormous amount of information, every thought and image has the ability to lead us into a path of self-destruction.  Our brains have literally become an addiction . . . … Continue reading

Our Inner Struggles

We all struggle with that internal battle between what we “should” do vs. what we “want” or “feel” like doing.  You know . . . it’s the whole “angel and devil on the shoulder” sort of thing! But, when someone is struggling with depression or anxiety, it can be paralyzing trying to figure out what to do.  With that, I often share the following story. This tale has been around for years but I have yet to be able to authenticate … Continue reading

Fear of Confrontation = Fear of Change

Last weekend at church, as I was listening to the reading, something came to mind that I wanted to share.  With the Easter season upon us, we naturally read the passage where people began to reject Jesus.  But understanding human behavior, Jesus knew this would occur.  After all, He was challenging the status quo. He dared to defy the powers that be and this caused anger.  He even went so far as to state that His good friend would deny Him … Continue reading